Swedish Steel

I was just at Target the other day to buy a Bodum coffee press for my lady (Mr. Coffee just doesn't cut it). As a huge fan of housewares, kitchen appliances, and cooking, I took my time to peruse the various goods in the Housewares Dept. I couldn't help notice a few things and make some observations.

The following items are pointless, and you should punch yourself in the balls if you own any one of them.

1. The George Foreman Grill: This f'd up contraption touts itself as a "Lean, Mean, Fat-Reducing machine. Excuse me, EVERY grill on the planet lets the fat and grease drip off the food. Do you really need that grease tray to prove that you reduced the fat of your meal? Commence Nut-Punching.

2. A Smoothie Machine: Don't buy this Hmm, this thing looks familiar? Yep, it's a blender with that cool spout to pour your freshly made smoothie directly into a glass. You know, instead of the overwhelming task of lifting the jar, bending your elbow, and holding the glass steady while you pour. Take that smoothie and stick it between your legs until you can't reproduce.

3. Quesadilla Maker Do I even have to say it?

This review on Amazon.com says it all.

Quesadillas are for losers. Whosoever eats one will die and burn in the deepest depths of hell for all eternity. Maybe even longer, I don't know. The 11th commandment should be: thou shalt not eat qeusadillas. PS: No one I know, or at least nobody important, owns this piece of tripe. Take it from me.
A Kitchen & Housewares enthusiast from Nebraska.

PS: Someone teach me how to add pictures to my blog! (please).