Swedish Steel

"Disco 2000" -Pulp-

You were the first girl at school to get breasts.
Martyn said that you were the best.
The boys all loved you but I was a mess.
I had to watch them try and get you undressed.
We were friends that was as far as it went.
I used to walk you home sometimes but it meant nothing to you 'cos you were so popular.
Ah Deborah do you recall?

I said "Let's all meet up in the year 2000.
Won't it be strange when we're all fully grown.
Be there at 2 o'clock by the fountain down the road.
I never knew that you'd get married.
I would be living down here on my own on that damp and lonely Thursday years ago.
Oh what are you doing Sunday baby?
Would you like to come and meet me maybe?
You can even bring your baby. Oh.

Yo yo yo, three days of utter laziness, overeating, avoidance of outdoors, exercise, and fresh air, has left me ill-equipped to deal with the reality of being a responsible adult. Every bone in my body is telling me to move in with my parents and never work again. Only four more days left in the fiscal year, and all I can think about is my desire to lay down in a state of repose, eyelids pressed together, and breathe slowly. I should be over it by tomorrow...

Saw "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" on Christmas day. I predict 74% of moviegoers will enjoy it. 62.7% of those moviegoers will enjoy it, yet feel they didn't get it. 13.7% will enjoy it, not get it, but pretend they got "got it.". 23.6% will enjoy and "get it." I'd like to think I'm with the 23.6%, but how can I be sure I "got it"? Maybe I should add another category?

Today, I suggest a self applied punch in the balls for anyone on a "Low-Carb" Diet, including people I know and love.

"Bobby and Me"

It's been four and a half weeks since I submitted my question to Bobby Flay on the merits of a 6.5 quart All Clad Saute Pot, and no answer yet from Bobby. Half the questions on his site are from retards that can't spell or haven't figured out he will never open a Mesa Grill in Bakersfield, CA. Where's mine?

Bobby, all I'm saying is that if I don't hear from you soon, I am going to putz around with a video camera, interview your friends and associates, make up stories, and in general, misrepresent you to your adoring public. Oh yeah, I'm still waiting for an autographed picture.

On another note, the beef bourguignon turned out excellent last night. Tyler Florence's"Real Kitchen" is probably the best cookbook I've purchased since Bill Granger's Sydney Food.

After submitting my audition tape to the Food Network, I keep thinking of the final scene of Robert Redford in "The Candidate". His character wins a seat in Congress, and it hits him... "What now? What do I do now?!" He was so focused on winning the election that he didn't pause to think what he would do if he actually did win. Even if Redford is an America-hating scumbag, he's a damn fine actor. That scene perfectly demonstrates the highly unlikely scenario I would find myself if I made it into final audition to host my very own cooking show. "What now?!"

So for next few months I am pushing myself into a journey all over the culinary map. I am going to make all sorts of dishes and hitting every reasonable cooking technique. Anything that involves digging a hole in the ground is out.

Tonight is "Beef Bourguignon" from my autographed copy of Tyler Florence's "Real Kitchen". Any dish whose ingredients include a whole bottle of wine can't be missed.
I'll see you in three hours.

By the time I get through a day of staring at the computer, dealing with spreadsheets galore, calling customers and asking them to fax me a piece of paper that obligates them to make payment within 30 days - I can hardly stand to come home and even touch my computer. Yeah, that's why my blog is weak lately.

Well, I'll let it all hang out a bit. I just sent a 3 minute audition DVD to the Food Network hoping I don't have to stare at computer all day for much longer. I couldn't have done it if a friend of a friend hadn't lent his digital camcorder without ever meeting me, and then eventually editing my shoot. I can't even begin to express my appreciation enough for this guy. My wife too, did excellent work with the camera and creative input.

I go between thinking I filmed the most retarded thing ever, to a damn fine, concise and entertaining video.

Wish me luck... please send positive vibes.